Day 12

Mercy..................

Probably the biggest thing that came to light for me over the last couple of days during the wake and funeral service for our nephew was just how much God gives us his mercy for the things we do and the decisions we make. I never realized just how much He loves us and forgives us for the things we do. I used to wonder if people who took their own lives went to heaven, because what they did was certainly not Gods will for their lives, right? Now I know that God forgives us and gives us His mercy for SO much that we do. WE are our worst judge, not God. God is all merciful and all loving!

So how does that relate to homeschooling our kids? In the same exact way. God is the ultimate example of the love and mercy we should be showing our kids as well. No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes, it is our reaction to what is going on that makes the difference in the learning experience for them. Do we blow up at them because we ourselves are so frustrated (and never make mistakes ourselves, lol)? Do we stop loving them for what they have done? Or, do we just love them and take them under our wing to teach them what is right, teach them how to do something well.

There is a fine line in finding a happy medium in this quest for creating independent thinkers................for myself, I think, would God just put me into a situation I had never encountered and say "Good luck with that, let me know when you figure out the answer" or would he gently guide me through it and give me lots of support, encouragement and His love along the way, without exactly giving me the answer. How do we accomplish this in homeschooling our children? What do you guys think this would look like? How do you think God would run his homeschool?

I would love to hear your answers on this because I don't know about you but I have got a long way to go in finding this happy medium in homeschooling and independent thinking/learning. I think that I value education so much that I am just so afraid to take my hands off of "Gods wheel" here and let Him take control.

What are your thoughts?

Day 11

Hi Everyone,

I have been in the midst of being with our family for wake and funeral services for our nephew. I will plan to return to the blog on Thurs. or Fri. but will need to adjust my postings to 3 times a week or so instead of 6.

God bless you all.

Day 10

Well, I find myself at a loss of words today so I wanted to post a question for everyone to be able to comment on.

What has been your biggest homeschool struggle? and what has been your biggest homeschool joy?

If you have found a way to manage your homeschool struggle, let us know.

Your words of wisdom may be just the answer someone else needed to hear.

Peace in your day!

Day 9

Remembering what is truely improtant................How important is it to accomplish everyting on our list in a day? Finishing each school subject before we can be "done",cleaning our houses, driving our kids around to all kinds of activities,etc. I for one can tend to let all kinds of things get in the way of the 2 most important things God put us on this earth to do; Love Him, and Love Others.

Yesterday, I came home from a very busy day to find out that one of my nephews (23 yrs old) had died. They are not sure at this point but they think he either intentionally took his own life or he died from a drug overdose.
The question I ask myself is "Why"? Why would anyone take their own life, no matter how it was done? I can't help to wonder if he just did not feel loved enough, if he did not feel he was good enough, or if he just did not have others he felt he could really turn to that would REALLY listen to him. It made me think more about what seems to be becoming a key part of the missing puzzle in our society.....................connection with others. We get ourselves so busy caring about accomplishing THINGS that we forget that the most important thing in this life is connecting and loving others.

I can't help but think...............what if that was my son. Whould I have cared as much if we did not get to that one or two school subjects that day, would it have mattered to me that I got the house cleaned completely that day, or finished everything on my to do list for the day? What I do know is that I would have regreted worrying and stressing over all of those little things and not having just spent more of those days connecting and loving him.

Go out and be a blessing to your children, love them and thank God for them!

Try to remember in those times where accomplishments are seeping in to take first place over relationships...................What is most important here!

Peace in your day

Day 8

It's a new day, thank God. I love new days because you get another chance at whatever you messed up on the day or days before.

I think what I learned from yesterday is that sometimes our priorities get juggled around and out of wack. If I do not put my "first" or "best" time to the kids and their schooling during that time, the whole day seems to spiral out of wack. Everyone gets frustrated and stressed out! I have to remind myself to put things into their proper perspective and order, for the sack of putting less stress on myself and my family and for the sack of giving 100% of my focus onto what I am doing at that time. It is definately a growth process! All we can do it recognize what we are doing wrong, learn from those mistakes and bad days, and do something different for the next day. If we just continue to make the same mistakes, in anything, we then become in a rut.

Take time to evaluate things both when they go well and when they don't. It will bring to light things you may either want to repeat or things you may want to change for the better.

There was a website that someone mentioned to help find and solve the insecurities we all have within ourselves. I have not yet had a chance to check its content out
but you may want to venture there and check it out for yourselves.

The site was emofree.com

Now, go out and be a blessing today to your family and the people around you.

Peace in your day!

Day 7

Well Ladies, today I hit a wall. It was an absolute terrible school day. Nothing the kids did.......it was totally by my own doing. The wall came in the form of a long list of things to do. The funny part, looking back onto the morning is that none of it HAD to be done. They were all things I WANTED to accomplish today. When this happens, I tend to push schooling to the side and take time away from the kids to accomplish "the List". My mind is set on just wanting to bulldoze through my list. I tend to forget about priorities at that point and focus too much on the projects and checking them off the list. This then creates undue stress on me and the kids. I need to find a good way to balance everything.............or maybe find a way to balance less period. If I could get myself to fully focus on one thing at a time, that would even help. Has this ever happened to anyone else?

So, to take a little breather for the day here, I am going to give you some more questions to think about from the insecurities we were talking about yesterday if you are ready to move on. Please let me know if you feel this is all too much information to take in at one time and if you would prefer to have some time for it all to soak in and implement it before I post other stratagies or ideas. If so, do you have any ideas about a better format to the posts? I This is your blog too, let me know what would work better for you all.

Here are some other questions to think about............a continuation from yesterday.

1)What behavior traits do I need to develop in order to overcome my insecurities?
2) What substitute behavior traits could I develop that would indecate security in myslef?
3) What are some positive consequences of exhibiting such secure behavior traits in my life?
4) What are some rational beliefs I must develop in order to exhibit secure behavior in my life?

Please give me your feedback on the content and format of this blog. I would like to be able to serve us all in the best way possible.

Peace in your day!

Day 6

Insecurities, anyone got them??

This is a subject I felt I should touch on because it is something that has such a powerful hold over us sometimes in life. It can show up in different areas of our lives more so than others. Wherever it shows up, it can really stop us from fully allowing ourselves to enjoy that area of our life. It is like a nasty infection that can take over our minds and changes how we do things, what we think, how we view situations and how we communicate with the people around us. Insecurity has many times over, had me thinking if homeschooling (what God called me to do), is really the right choice for my family, it has had me question how I teach, what I teach, what curriculum I use, what others will think of this decision to homeschool and even if we are doing "enough" compared to the rest of the educational world. In other areas of my life, it has stopped me from meeting new people (if those who know me can believe that), it has stopped me from having more deeper friendships (rather than surface friendships which are safer for me), it has stopped me from loving who I am and how I look, It has stopped me from following through with things I have wanted to do in my life, and the laundry list goes on.

Why am I bringing this up in the midst of this 30 day quest for creating independent thinkers?? Because insecurities can be the main factor holding ourselves back from exactly that.............being an independent thinker ourselves. It has us rely on what others think about what we do, say and think. If we want to begin to REALLY teach our kids how to be independent thinkers, we need to get rid of what is stopping us from becoming this ourselves!

So how do we go about doing this?? I would like to take you all through a little exercise that I myself am going through right now. It will not only help you to identify what insecurities are holding you back in certain areas of your life but will also have you see what is possible in those areas instead and help you come up with a fantastic action plan to free yourself of these insecurities so that you can teach your children how to free themselves of theirs.

Today, I would like whoever is willing, to journal on a few questions to get you started.

1) What behavioral traits signal your insecurities?
2) What happened in your life to make you feel insecure?
3) What are some of your beliefs that account for your insecurities?
4) What are some negative consequences you've experienced due to your insecurities?


Really give yourself some time to think these through. It will help you get to the bottom of what is keeping you from true freedom in your life.

We will continue with part two tomorrow.

Peace in your day!!

Day 5

Very simple but effective. Here is what I use each week for each child's school schedule. It keeps the kids accountable for their own work while being able to see what they did and what still needs to be done for the day/week. I use this and another chart that I will also upload for both kids but I give my older child (10yrs) a little bit more responsibility with her charts than my youngest (7yrs).




First, I usually sit down on the weekend and figure out what the kids need to do in each subject for the week. As you can hopefully see (sorry it is a little light), I put all of their weekly subjects down the left side of the paper with a space for ME to write what needs to be done in that subject. For example, for History, I may put; read 60 pages of your current book or for Math; I would put; complete 4 lessons (we only have school on Mon-Thurs and take Fri. off). You might even want to include as subjects,anything they need to practice during the week (music lessons, maybe memorizing lines for a play that they are in, etc)and maybe set a time for how long each day. You could even include their weekly chores onto your chart as a subject. For my kids, I even include an area for them to have time to do the things they love. So for my daughter, I might put; cook 2 dinners and 2 desserts this week (she LOVES to cook), or for my son, I might put; spend 20 minutes each day and build something that is really tall or something that is useful or that you can put a motor in and make it work (lego stuff). Once I have this chart filled out, I can then move on to the next chart, below.





As you can see, the subjects are still going down the left side of the paper with our school days going across the top.

For my younger child (7yrs), I will go ahead and break up what he needs to do in each subject for the week into even amounts of work for each day. He then follows that daily and is able to then do pretty much 3 of the subjects completely on his own, and most of the others with some help from me.

With my 10yr old, I give her my first chart completely filled in (what she has to do for the week) and she is to decide how much of the work she is going to do in each subject for each of her school days. As long as it all gets done, I am fine if she chooses to go lighter in a subject on a certain day and do more of it on another day. The point is that she has ownership (responsibility) for when it gets done and how much each day. If it doesn't get done, than she has weekend school until it does get done! If there comes a day when she does not complete her school by Mon. of the next week, I will have to figure something out. So far, I have not had to go there, lol.

By implementing these charts, there has been a lot less arguing because she is the one who said that she would do X on Monday in that subject instead of it coming from me. Also, the kids know what they have decided to do and can see what they have done for the day and what still needs to be done. Some of the subjects they do at the same time, like quiet reading, Science and History but then the others, they can pick on their own as to what subject to do next.

Again, you have to judge for yourself as to what will work for your own house and your own children but so far, this has worked well for us!



So how is your 30 day challenge been going? What have you done differently since the starting of this new 30 days? What has worked for you? What do you feel you would like to work on within this subject?

Please share your comments, ideas, stories & experiences with us!


As always, If you would like to follow this blog and take the challenge with us, please click on the FOLLOW button on the top right side of this page. If you are involved in other homeschool groups or know of others who may want to take this challenge with us, please feel free to forward this blog address to them.

I will be taking Sundays off from blogging but will be checking the blog for comments or to answer any questions that were posted.

Peace in your day!!

Day 4

So today we were coming home from the grocery store and I asked the kids to bring in all of the grocery bags between the two of them when we got home. There is always a problem when I ask them to work together on a chore. One always ends up doing more than the other with lots of bickering in the process. My ears end up hurting from the noise and I wish I had found my ear plugs before I had even asked, lol. So, my new stratagy when this occurs is to give the responsibility to them!! Imagine that. How?? Well, I just let them know before the chore starts that they are each to do their fair share of the job. If one child thinks the other did not hold their end of the bargin up, that person (the slacker of that chore) gets another chore (to do on their own). They each get to say if they think the other did a fair amount of the work. BINGO! Guess what? Since I have done that, there has been no fighting, no bickering and they just do the work, usually coming up with who will accomplish what to get that chore done. Music to my ears!!!! Now, I just have to remember to be consistent with that. That is usually the problem for me when coming up with these ideas. Mom needs to be consistent and follow the program. It is not hard, I just sometimes get busy and forget what actually worked.

A note on the timer.........We had to leave out the door this morning so I got my trusty timer out, set it for 15 min. and let the kids know they needed to be out the door before it rang. My son, the dauddler, was in the car completely ready waiting for us 5 min. before the timer even went off. VICTORY!!! That timer is worth every penny!

Tomorrow, I have got to share another great find with you all. Along the way, I have tried all kinds of different techniques for keeping everyone organized on what they have to do in thier school day. I started something a bit new about a month ago that has really given everyone a real clear view of what they need to do each day and has them staying accountable for their own work during the week. It has helped each child become more responsible in getting their work done.
Stay tuned................................

Peace in your day!

Day 3

Eureka! Great Discovery! In my search to find what may help keep the kids responsible for their own time during school, along comes my old friend.......the timer. It is a great tool for keeping everyone on track. I had used the timer in the past for keeping my wandering, easy to distract son on track when we had to leave out the door to go places. With the timer set, he kept focused to get his shoes and coat on and was out the door and in the car before it rang. Without the timer, it was constant nagging from me to keep him on track with those things. Without the timer, I was frustrated and it felt hard and rushed to get him to move. There was definitely more stress! With the timer........peace for everyone! The best part about it was that I was no longer the nagging authority, the timer became the one keeping him accountable. You can't really argue with a timer. You either did what you were supposed to by the time it went off or you didn't.

So, I thought, why not use it during school to keep us accountable as well. There are lots of areas that would save me from having to keep the monkey on my back so to speak. It can keep track of their quiet reading time and let them know when they are done instead of them asking me "how much longer do I have to read". It can also be their accountability if you have a set time for them to work on their subjects (or certain ones anyway). It could also be used to let them know how much longer until lunch time. Creativity can really come into play for going on your road trips. Instead of hearing the all too often question of "Are we there yet?", the visual timer can let them know instead, creating a more peaceful car ride for all!

Responsibility is the tool God gives us to grow us. Why should we deny our children or this same growth?

I would love to hear from you! What are the struggles you have been dealing with within your own homes? Have you come across any ideas for creating more peace in those areas?

Please share your thoughts, stories and ideas with us. Just add your comments at the bottom of the days blog. Many counselors working together can create much change!

If you would like to join us on this 30 day challenge, please click FOLLOW at the upper right of this blog. If you know others who may benefit from a community of supporters, please feel free to pass this blog address along to them.

Peace in your day!

Day 2

Today seemingly started out o.k. The kids knew what was expected of them so I was good to go, right? Wrong! How could I expect that there would be no struggle or fight after only one day. I realized that I was in dreamland when my son proceeded to tell me at one point that "I don't want to waste my time looking it up!!". Well, I thought, neither do I! He loves to ask me how to spell words all the time. Not really realizing that I was doing so, I had proceeded to train him to keep asking me by always just giving him the answer instead of allowing him to find his own answer. He knows how to use the dictionary, but, if you had someone just giving you the answer all the time, would you want to do the work?? So, in the midst of his fit, I had to make a choice.............either go ahead and tell him how to spell it (fixing things for the short term) or not giving in and having him discover the answer himself (teaching him for the long haul).

In the midst of teaching our children all about reading, writing and arithmetic, somehow we can tend to miss what is really the most important issue we are striving for here..............Who our children are becoming. We can build up our children on solid rock for the future or we can solve their problems for them today. If we focus our schooling on the short term.......this day, this week or even this year, we can tend to be tellers or advise givers. If we focus on the end of this homeschooling journey, we see something else emerge, helping our children grow to maturity and become a responsible person who is ready and able to find their own way in life.

It is o.k. as a parent to let our kids fail sometimes (at "safe" things). Failure is one of the best catalyst to growth!

The question is......do we want to empower our kids for tomorrow or train them into dependence for today?

Day 1

As I sat today in the middle of all of our school books and listening to simple questions being fired from both sides of my head, something occurred to me. I have been wanting to move in the direction of raising my children to be independent learners and thinkers for some time but had always given them the answers to questions when I was asked during school time. I think sometimes it is easy to see them struggling and to step in to "help" them so we could all just move on but something was wrong with that picture in the light of what I really wanted for them.
In my epiphany, I began to realize that giving them the answers was not really helping them at all. It may have helped everyone in the short term but when I looked down the road at the long term picture of schooling and life, I was actually creating dependent thinkers who looked to others to be spoon-fed the answers that they needed instead of showing them how to find those answers that they are already capable of finding for themselves. Not only that but I was actually robbing them of the inner joy of finding that answer and being proud of what they accomplished on their own. So, in my moment of wisdom, I began to create a 6 step process for them to follow that would give them a structure to begin finding their own answers instead of always looking to mom.

The first thing they needed to do when they came across a problem they did not know how to do or read something they did not understand was to:
* Reread the question again or possibly the lesson again to gain better understanding of what was being asked or taught (sometimes we all half read things and then end up looking up at the end and saying "huh?")

*The next thing they were to do if still confused was to ask themselves "What resource can I use here to find the answer or to help me learn this better?"
(I have been there myself where I knew what I could look in to find more help or the answer and it was just plain easier to ask someone else)

*Third, I had them list 3 good resource choices they could use to find their information

*Next, they were to choose on of them and use it

*If they could not find the information they were looking for or the answer they needed they were to go on to the next resource and try again with that one

*If they needed to go onto their last listed resource and they still could not find the information, then they could come to myself or dad to ask for additional help.

As soon as I implemented this into our day, the storm began to swirl! Of course the kids did not like any part of having to go through this process, not when things had been so easy before! There was a lot of crying and procrastinating today but in the thick of all of this commotion, there was also an unbelievable excitement and joy that I had not seen in my children during school in a long time. Because of the struggle it took to find their answers, they got to experience the true joy when they finally found them. I got to experience that aha moment when they actually learned how to do it on their own and they were again proud of themselves! That is what gives me hope and the courage to move ahead with this 30 day challenge. I want to prepare my children for a lifetime of success on their own, knowing that they can find any answer, they can accomplish anything and that someone believes in their capability to do so! God gave them the power to learn, and I need to stop taking that away! Teach the kids to fish instead of just giving them a meal.

If you would like to follow this blog and or take the 30 day challenge with me to see what kind of powerful changes can be created, click on the follow icon in the upper right side of this blog page. I welcome others to share their ideas, experiences, stories or comments!! I hope to make this not just something you can read but something that is about you as well (interactive for all).